Die, Prograstination, Die!

Oh, I’m in a serious rant mood this morning. Hide your kids, dish out the popcorn ‘cause this will go down in the history books as a George Carlin special without the cursing.

How many of us have fallen to procrastination? Yeah, we’re talking about twenty-two days after our New Year’s resolutions going up in smoke procrastination. I have. I’m sure a number of my writer friends have too. What does it take?

Does this sound familiar? “After the new year, I’m going to rock it. I’m going to start writing my book, edit it and query it to have a publishing contract by the end of the year.” One little thing there, cowboy. You’ve got to write the thing first before thinking about that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (yeah, it’s cliché. My blog, my rules). What’s it gonna take to get the wheels in motion so that this time next year we’re all not staring down the same black hole we call a WIP? And I’m not talking about the World Institute of Pain either. Or the Weatherization and Intergovernmental Program. There are websites for those. Go there if you still don’t get it!

What can we do to beat this procrastination bug? Besides smacking each other upside the head—here’s a list. And, guys, this is not a beauty pageant. For Pete’s sake, I could have added writing in my underwear as a point on the list. So take the points I have, add to them and write your own blog post about them. There’s no right or wrong to this stuff.

Defeating Procrastination

1. For friggin’ sakes, write the bloody thing! Ever use these excuses?
   
   
   • Oh my, I had a terrible week. I don’t have it in me to write today.
   • When I get a chance, I’ll do it tomorrow. Too busy today.
   • Too late to do anything, now. I have to get up and go to work tomorrow morning.
   • I’m having company over.
   • My dog’s having surgery.
   • You’re kidding, right? It’s grocery and laundry day.
   • I gotta feed the hog.
   
   Sit down and write. You say you’re going to do something. Do it! Don’t use every excuse thinking you can delay the inevitable. You can’t. Time does NOT stand still. If you say it—DO IT! Otherwise, it makes you look like a liar and a fool to everyone around you. Most of all, you’re lying to yourself in a big, big way.
   
   
2. Get off the social networking sites! Yeah, you heard me. Agents don’t care how many followers you have on Twitter. Or if you’re nice to everyone around you ‘cause you respond to every tweet that mentions your name. Or if you have a bazillion Likes on Facebook. Or if you get everyone from your aunt Jennie from Utah (no offense to Utahns) to comment on your blog. Agents. Don’t. Care.
   
   Agents want to see a well-written query and an amazing first three chapters to your book. That’s it. Unless you’re Brad Pitt or Lady Gaga, you’ll have to impress the agents with your writing—not your social standing in this popularity contest we all call “Social Networking” on Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, Tumbler, blah-blah-blah…
   
   They don’t care. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
   
   
3. Still not convinced?
   
   What’s the dearest thing in your life? Imagine it taken away from you. That’s what every day of procrastination does. It bleeds you until the desire you had of wanting to do good is gone. And there’s nothing left recognizable of what used to bring you the most joy in life. Scary, huh? It’s sad, too—to see that first love disappear from neglect.
   
   I’ll bet you the best ideas in the world are those ideas that never made it to drawing board ‘cause of procrastination. I don’t even want to imagine the implications that statement has to science and technology.
   
   Look out the window. Imagine where you want to be in five years and it will be so. You can’t do it without working. You gotta work hard at it. It’s not going to be easy, but no one ever said success is easy, right?

Time to kick butt and chew bubble gum…and I’m fresh outta gum. Rant over.